The King of Polarization

 
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It’s NOT the Polar Bear

Polarization is a tried and true cult leader’s weapon. In one sweep of the sword, unethical leaders can clearly define who the enemy is while at the same time, galvanize the loyalty of their followers. Once polarization is normalized, knowing one’s enemy equates to knowing oneself — it’s like looking into a mirror of opposites.

Nearly every time Donald Trump speaks or tweets, he is polarizing the American people. When he slips in a derogatory nickname for an opponent or a flattering comment about a supporter, he divides American citizens into two camps. When he disregards expert advice — on any topic — he creates a wedge between those who respect the expert and those who admire Trump’s cavalier approach. His contemptuous relationship with Democratic leaders has furthered extreme bipartisanship while also cultivating blind loyalty.

This divisive technique has wreaked havoc on the government’s ability to function. But that is only the tip of the polarizing iceberg. The real damage is taking place in neighborhoods and homes across the country and more importantly, in our minds and hearts. Our identity takes a hit each time we are pulled away from our personal core values. Few are immune from the high level of divisiveness the king of polarization doles out.

Although my ex-teacher was far milder than Mr. Trump, his use of polarization led me to believe that my birth family was incapable of understanding me. I ‘decided’ to attend a cult-related retreat instead of going to my own brother’s funeral. I was not forced into that decision, but the psychological rift of polarization, on top of the indoctrination I went through during the preceding years, compelled me to make a choice that I will regret for the rest of my life. In my raw emotional state, I believed my teacher and cult family were my ‘real’ family and I behaved as if my family of origin could not be trusted. This was far from the truth. In fact, the opposite was true.

Mr. Trump’s effective use of the divide and conquer technique undermines not only our democracy but also weakens our capacity for critical thinking. The loyalty generated by his followers creates an energetic forcefield that appears impenetrable but it is not. Indoctrination is about adopting ideals and concepts, but people are people. We all need and deserve loving understanding, compassion, and forgiveness.

What is less obvious to the many Americans who don’t support Mr. Trump is how much his polarizing technique is impacting them too. Those who are labeled ‘lying liberals’ are understandably offended, if not outraged. Anger, denial and numbness are natural reactions to Mr. Trump’s divisive jargon, but this emotional reactivity can be crippling, because it triggers an irrational polarized emotional state, ie “I can’t stand the man.” “I can’t even say his name.” or “Anyone who believes what he says is a …blankety-blank.” When this happens, we are likely in fight or flight mode. The amygdala, our “primitive brain” kicks into gear — and our frontal lobe, where we process critical thinking, goes off line. Lawmakers and citizens across the country, fervently defend their respective camps.

Us versus them leaves no room for we. The truth is: WE are the only way out of this problem.

Regaining our critical thinking and listening to the quiet insight of our heart is and will continue to be the most important step towards healing our country. This begins by simply noticing polarization when it happens and recognizing it for what it is: a technique designed to divide us into two camps. Recognition deactivates the reactionary response and allows room for understanding and truth to emerge. We can ask ourselves how we might be unconsciously perpetuating the polarization that begins with the president of our country. Leadership circles have a mantra: the leader sets the tone. In organizational change, it happens one person at a time.

The true composition of the American people is far more complex and nuanced than Mr. Trump would like us to believe. The spectrum of political, cultural, religious and philosophical perspectives that exist in our country is breathtaking. When we can see through the president’s lie that we are divided into two camps, we are American’s in the truest sense of the word, and we are invigorating our super power: the capacity for discernment.

Like an iceberg — only the top portion is exposed. President Trump’s polarization might be dividing us on the surface level but what’s below the surface is what really matters. At our foundation, America is among the most diverse nations globally — therefore we have the potential for extraordinary degrees of creativity and ingenuity.

When Donald Trump succeeds in dividing us, he wins. The work for the American people today is to call his bluff by honoring our diversity, complexity and most of all, our ability to discern reality, open our hearts to each other and take personal responsibility when we vote, when we talk with our neighbor who we think is in the other camp and how we behave after this election. We just might discover that we have a lot more in common than we thought.