The Pacific NorthWest (PNW) - and the Portland area in particular - have wowed and nourished me these past two weeks with stunning beauty, engaging people and hard-to-put-my-finger-on-it-qualities that make me certain this will not be my last rodeo here. I feel a sense of being held in a way that I normally only feel at home. With my first official book tour and series of events behind me, I feel a gentle tug back East - but not before sharing this with you.
After flirting with Seattle and Mount St Helens, we snaked our way up the side of a mountain to the extraordinary warmth and welcome from Melissa and Jeff (new friends), their home was a refuge and anchor for most of this trip - providing me an office extraordinaire, exquisite dining, engaging dialog, mucho learning and laughter. I will be forever grateful.
The Death, Grief and Belief Conference was a space where connections of all kinds were made, including a wondrous link with my own past that occurred while preparing for my presentation titled The Death of Belief.
Harkening back to my days as an early childhood educator, my interest in child development resurfaced and became a central reference point for the healthy - and unhealthy - integration or ‘death’ of beliefs. I went out on a limb and shared my evolving theory that those of us working in the cult recovery space could learn about the life cycle of belief systems by observing the way neurological infant reflexes (patterns of movement) are present for brief periods and- when no longer needed, they are integrated through freedom of movement. If that sounds like gibberish, please know that I promise to write a coherent paper about this. But what I want to share with you now is this: immediately after my presentation, a pediatric chaplain from Stanford Children’s Hospital approached me and told me, “I believe your theory is a significant contribution. It could be developed into an assessment tool for the complex cases we see at Stanford.” I was stunned, overcome really and felt my worlds coming together. My decades in early childhood education spiraled into my work today in cult recovery and education. So unexpected and unbelievable - except, it happened - so, it is believable. And it’s as real as this waterfall and the beauty of connecting with Ciara - in person for the first time!
So, what is belief anyway?
Since getting out of CTL in 2014, I’ve discovered the wonderfully helpful practice of looking up the etymology of words I wish to better understand. Digging past relatively modern European references, I discovered a much earlier source for the word belief - originating in two Sanscrit words that mean ‘desire’ and ‘to make crazy’. There ‘s also a Persian origin that means, ‘to be tangled, to be hit down, to be in love’. When I read this cluster of phrases: desire, to make crazy, to be tangled, to be hit down, and to be in love - I knew I’d landed on a darn good descriptor of cultic involvement, confirming for me the integral link between controlling groups or religions and their accompanying belief systems.
Because of the vagaries of traveling, this newsletter was delayed. I am now waiting for my luggage before the final trip to home sweet home, completing this update for you. I’m a bit bleary from a red eye flight, but could not be more grateful for the many, many gifts I have received these past two weeks.
I’m not sure why, but this last photo stirs me deeply. I took a short nap beneath this magnificent desiduous tree. As a nature lover, I am often quick to try to identify species I don’t know but I simply call this one: Resting Tree. If you happen to recognize the tree, please let me know!
My luggage has appeared and the West and East coasts come neatly together in this moment. The PNW trip is officially over, but its gifts, lessons and riches will live on.
