Complaint

Mienka’s squeals filled the room. Buzz Lightyear to the rescue! Sky, Panda, and Alvin the Elephant are in trouble.They need help!  

Whoops. I see that I missed a phone call. When I listen to the message several words stand out above the din: Office. Regulation. Complaint. 

My heart raced as I stepped outside to listen more carefully. Did someone file a complaint about me? NO. It’s a man named Mark who has requested a call back to discuss the complaint that I had filed a few months ago at the Office of Professional Regulation*. 

What a surprise! Back in February when I hit submit on the first and only official complaint I’ve ever filed, I felt certain that was the end of it. I felt complete. But, suddenly, as I stood outside my daughter’s front door with traffic whizzing by, that small universe of rupture opened up again. I felt shaky as I returned the call. 

Mark spoke with calm respect and explained that he had reviewed the complaint and asked if he could ask me a few questions. ❓ He wanted to know more. He wanted clarity around my request for a referral. He offered that he understood how my history as a cult survivor factored into this situation. After I responded, Mark let out a long sigh and said, “Ms Buglion, I’m so sorry this happened to you. It is unacceptable.” 

As the conversation wound down the quivering in my chest receded. Mark closed by saying that I would likely not hear from him again, but that action would be taken to assure that D understands his ‘egregious behavior’. 

When I hung up, I was the one to release a long sigh. Justice. ⚖️ Mark’s call delivered justice. Righting a wrong. This acknowledgement was a gift. It restored moral decency and gave me hope that my feedback had value. That I had value. 

The word complaint finds its root in 12th century complaindre which means ‘to lament’. For those actively engaged in healing from cultic abuse, there is so much to grieve. Over this past year, one thing has become increasingly clear:🌟 the only way to truly heal from harmful interactions is to actually be in relationship with each other in respectful and meaningful ways. 🌟

Is there any greater dignity than the work of repair after a rupture has occurred? It seems to me that this is how dignity - and our humanness - is restored. This is how we grow. 

Is there a complaint - or a lament - that you are holding back from sharing? Have you had the experience of repair after a rupture? I'd love to hear your thoughts about this. 

Maybe my grandkid had it right all along... Buzz to rescue! 

Oh Bzzzzzz 🙂

Gerette
*The complaint I filed was prompted by the unprofessional behavior of a therapist. I wrote about this in a newsletter a few months ago. You are welcome to read the whole complaint that I filed with the VT Office of Professional Regulation HERE if you are interested. (names are blanked out of course) Writing and submitting it was an empowering process for me.